Thursday, June 23, 2011
Food For mind and soul......
Let the mind run wherever it likes; just be careful not to follow it, seeking to discover where it is going! It will then wander about for some time as the fancy takes it. Soon, getting tired and exhausted, it will come back to you! It is like a little child that knows nothing. Since the mother is following it and calling it back, it gets courage and confidence to run forward in any direction. But if the mother does not run behind the child and instead quietly retraces her steps, the child too, of its own accord, will run back to the mother! Carry on with the remembrance and meditation of the Divine Name and Form you like best and in the manner you are accustomed to. In this way, you will acquire one-pointedness (ekagratha) and realise your heart’s desire.
- Dhyana Vahini, Chap 8: 'Onepointedness is Essential for Meditation'.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Many more bridges to build..!
Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding. It grew into a major difference. Finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.
One morning there was a knock on the older brother's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work," he said.
"Perhaps you have a few small jobs here and there. Can I help you with something?"
"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor. In fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us. Then he ripped a hole in the river levee with his bulldozer. Now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence, an 8-foot fence, so I won't need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow."
The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."
The older brother left the farm for the day to go into town.
The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing and nailing.
About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide. His jaw dropped!There was no fence there at all. There was a bridge ... a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work, too, handrails and all ... and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across the bridge, his hands outstretched.
"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."
The two brothers met in the middle of the bridge, taking each others hand. And then they spontaneously embraced.
Hearing a noise, they turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.
"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but I have many more bridges to build."
Divergence Trade..(Most Potent)......
These set-ups are counter trend tactics, and as such, one must employ a hard stop in the event that the trend reasserts itself and you are on the wrong side. Contrast this tactic with the principle: “Trends have a higher probability of continuation than reversal.”
When you play for a momentum divergence trade, you are always playing for a target closer to the price the divergences commenced and playing for a possible shift in buying/selling pressure. Before attempting any such trade, I suggest researching further on this potentially profitable topic.
Some of the most popular Oscillators/indicators for uncovering price divergences include the MACD, stochastic, RSI, Ultimate Oscillator, rate of change, etc. You have to discover which indicator works best for you. Indicators are used as ‘training wheels’ until you can develop an intuitive sense of determining where the buying and selling pressure (momentum of the move) are diverging with the price action. This process takes time, yet indicators can help highlight these conditions. There is no perfect indicator to do this. I am using a fast MACD oscillator in my chart example. You can also spot divergences in other momentum oscillators.
Momentum precedes price in that a slowing of momentum indicates that a possible change in price is yet to come. Do not get caught in the trap of searching for momentum divergences all over the chart. Examine them at the (possible) end of mature trends for greater probability. Again, we are not seeking the end of a trend move (reversal), but just a retest and a small target. In fact, we are playing for a simple retracement swing against the direction of the prevailing trend. This illustration may help:
We are in a mature uptrend and price is continuing higher. A situation develops where the buyers are becoming less aggressive in their momentum (force of buying pressure) and momentum is declining while price is not.Of importance to note (and the reason behind the divergence in the oscillator) is also price based. Note the steep rise of the previous swing up (creating heightened oscillator/indicator readings) and then the more gradual rise of the second swing up (creating a lower peak in the mathematical oscillator). This sets up the divergence while the reason for it is declining momentum.
If momentum precedes price, then in this case, a decline in momentum forecasts a decline in price as the most probable swing play. If buyers are less aggressive to raise their offers, then it won’t take much effort for price to fall and those who own the stock will begin to sell.
This chart highlights momentum divergences finally reversing the trend:
Divergences are difficult to quantify for a mechanical system, so this is one area discretionary traders may have an edge over programmers.I did want to highlight another point through the use of various time-frames. Divergences and momentum concepts are valid across all time frames.
There are a few factors to be aware of when identifying momentum divergence plays:
• Momentum divergences are invalidated (and nonexistent) in range bound, consolidating markets
• Only look for momentum divergences in the context of a mature trend (however short the time-frame)
• Momentum divergences work best after a “three-impulse” pattern in a trend( That is two impulse moves followed with a consolidation/pause/sideays move with a final impulse move)
• Momentum divergences are to be played for a target (price correction) commensurate with the time cycle it is noticed and NOT in the higher time cycle.
• The best divergences resemble “double-top” or “double-bottom” chart patterns.
• Keep a stop in the market close to the last pivot point in the event that the strong trend reasserts itself and causes great losses.
• Exit divergence trades which do not resolve within a time parameter.
. Trading momentum divergences is a complex strategy and should only be attempted after repeated exposure and internalization of the price behavior that sets up the pattern.
courtsey: just nifty blog
Get Wiser laughing............
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!
For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we do not do anything ourselves.]
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The Frogs
A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs -millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.
The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?'.
The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they
sure were making a lot of noise!'
[ Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]
Who is the teacher..??
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As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.." His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class." By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume . But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on he r wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.." A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's deg ree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged ea ch other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference." Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you." (For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.) Warm someone's heart today. . . I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? just "do it". Random acts of kindness, I think they call it! May all of your days be filled with random acts of kindness.
Pivot Points Trading (The Most Basic).....
The pivot point is the level at which the market direction changes for the day. Using some simple arithmetic and the previous days high, low and close, a series of points are derived. These points can be critical support and resistance levels. The pivot level, support and resistance levels calculated from that are collectively known as pivot levels.
Every day the market you are following has an open, high, low and a close for the day. This information basically contains all the data you need to use pivot points.The reason pivot points are so popular is that they are predictive as opposed to lagging.
Because so many traders follow pivot points you will often find that the market reacts at these levels. This give you an opportunity to trade.
If the market opens above the pivot point then the bias for the day is long trades. If the market opens below the pivot point then the bias for the day is for short trades.
The three most important pivot points are R1, S1 and the actual pivot point.
The general idea behind trading pivot points are to look for a reversal or break of R1 or S1. By the time the market reaches R2,R3 or S2,S3 the market will already be overbought or oversold and these levels should be used for exits rather than entries.
A perfect set would be for the market to open above the pivot level and then stall slightly at R1 then go on to R2. You would enter on a break of R1 with a target of R2 and if the market was really strong close half at R2 and target R3 with the remainder of your position.
If, after starting the day above the Pivot, the Price crosses back through the Pivot, the Pivot will act as a Resistance area. Pivot Points and Support and Resistance levels behave exactly like any historical Support and Resistance level.
Unfortunately life is not that simple and we have to deal with each trading day the best way we can. Combine these with simple channeling, retracement levels, past critical supports & resistances, SAR will enhance the success rate.
Pivot Points - Trading Methodology:
To make the discussion a bit less abstract, let's take a most superficial look at some simple trading methodology employing Pivot Points.
Step 1
"In general, if the day's Price Action starts above the Pivot, it will tend to stay above the Pivot.
This simple observation provides the basic rules for two of the simplest Pivot trading systems.
System 1:
Open is above Pivot: Buy
Open is below Pivot: Sell
System 2:
Place Buy and Sell stops bracketing the Pivot. Whichever is not filled acts as safety stop for the other.
These "systems" are very much too raw for my tastes. Too much chance of getting whipsawed. Let's take it one step deeper. Let's refine these simple systems just a bit more:
Step 2
First Fundamental Of Pivot Trading After the opening range (first 15-30 min. to one hour), if price is above/below the Pivot, Price Action will strongly tend to remain above/below the Pivot for the session.
Although this rule bids us to wait out the Opening Range and thus avoid much of the wildness and whipsawing, overlooking the next Fundamental Of Pivot Trading could be disastrous:
Step 3
If the market opens, or later trades at the extremes (R2, R3 or S2, S3), it will exhibit a tendency to trade back toward the Pivot. Thus, the general rule, 'Avoid buying the High or selling the Low', becomes increasingly more stringent as price moves farther from the Pivot.
I have picked 5 days of last week and what follows are some ideas on how you could have traded those days using pivot points.
........................26.10.09-Monday.......................
.........................27.10.09-Tuesday....................
.........................28.10.09-Wednesday.................
.........................29.10.09-Thursday.................
.........................30.10.09-Friday....................
.......Week starting 26.10(Mon) to 30.10(Fri).....
Keep those weekly, daily Pivots and fine tune them to perfection.courtsey: just nifty blog
If you haven't done it, start NOW.....
What made that so amazing was that for four thousand years reading and writing in China was only done by the Scholars. "Everybody" knew, including the peasants themselves, that peasants were incapable of learning.
That thoroughly ingrained cultural belief was Jimmy Yen's first impossible barrier. The second barrier was the Chinese language itself, consisting of 40,000 characters, each character signifying a different word! The third barrier was the lack of technology and good roads. How could Jimmy Yen reach the 350 million peasants in China?
Impossible odds, an impossibly huge goal-and yet he had almost attained it when he was forced (by Communists) to leave his country.
Did he give up? No. He learned from defeat and expanded his goal: Teach the rest of the Third World to read. Practical reading programs, like the ones he invented in China, started pumping out literate people like a gushing oil well in the Philippines, Thailand, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Kenya, Columbia, Guatemala, Indonesia, Bangladesh, Ghana, India-people became literate. For the first time in their entire genetic history, they had access to the accumulated knowledge of the human race.
For those of us who take literacy for granted, I'd like you to consider for a moment how narrow your world would be if you'd never learned how to read and there was no access to radios or TVs.
180,000 Chinese peasants were hired by the Allied Forces in WW1 as laborers in the war effort. Most of them had no idea-not a clue-where England, Germany or France was, they didn't know what they were being hired to do, and didn't even know what a war was!
Try to grasp, if you will, the vacancy, the darkness, the lack that existed in those people because they couldn't read. Jimmy Yen was a savior to them.
What was the secret of Jimmy Yen's success? He found a real need, and found in himself a strong desire to answer that need. And he took some action: He tried to do something about it even though it seemed impossible. He worked long hours. And he started with what he had in front of him and gradually took on more and more, a little upon a little.
The English author Thomas Carlyle said,
"Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand."
And that's what Jimmy Yen did. He started out teaching a few peasants to read, with no desks, no pens, no money, no overhead projectors. He started from where he found himself and did what was clearly at hand.
And that's all you need to do. Start now. Start here. And do what lies clearly at hand.
Instead of hoping for a miracle, it's much wiser to act on proven principles. Most of all, whatever your present situation is, it's important to get started today. If you put together a plan and follow it, you'll be amazed at the progress you can make.And that's all you need to do. Start now. Start here. And do what lies clearly at hand.
Inspired from Jimmy Yen's Life.
You get your lift when you need one......
His grandfather gently touched his shoulder while observing his grandson's eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Little Buddy, let me tell you why you are already a great pitcher and will be a better pitcher than your old grandpa ever was. Can I give you a little advice son? Steven looked intensely into his hero's eyes and replied, "Yes grandpa! I'll do anything to be great like you!"His grandfather sat him down on a hollowed out log and pulled him in close. "Little Buddy, I want you to remember what I am about to tell you and all I ask is that you never forget what I had to learn the hard way. Do you promise you will remember?" Steven's grandfather asked. Without pause, Steven assured his grandfather he'd remember any and everything he told him.
His grandfather continued, "If you think someone is better than you, always remember that you are the only one who is thinking the other guy is." His grandson looked at him inquisitively and caught his grandfather off guard with his response. "So you're saying that I need to use my brain, is that what you said grandpa?" "You got it Little Buddy! Many folks focus on what they are doing wrong, but the winners figure out what they are doing right."
His grandson replied with yet another super insight based on what he'd heard his grandfather say. "So I need to tell myself that I am good?" he asked. His grandfather smiled and went further: "Not only do you need to tell yourself that you're good, you must always believe that you are great! You see Little Buddy, you've got determination and grit. I've been watching you throw those stones for over two hours and anyone who stays at it that long has what it takes to be a winner even though he may get a bit down on occasion!"
As they walked back up the hill to the home Steven's grandfather built for him and his wife 20 years earlier, his grandfather took hold of his Little Buddy's hand and stated the last piece of wisdom Steven would ever hear him provide. "You'll be at the pitcher's mound next season and I'll be there Lord willing. When you're on that mound, I want you to repeat to yourself what I'm about to tell you when you start to throw each ball. Are you listening son?"
He glanced at his grandfather and boldly stated, "Yes Sir!" "Okay then, I want you to repeat this right after me. 'When I feel down, I know God will lift me up'!" His grandson repeated it three times before they finally reached the front porch.
The next season came and Steven looked into the stands searching for his grandfather's always eager and proud face. "Mom, I don't see grandpa anywhere! Where is he?" he anxiously asked his mother of very strong faith. "Steven, grandpa won't be here today because God called him to be with him last night."
Steven began to cry as his mother consoled him with a firm and comforting hug. "Steven, grandpa told me last night before he passed away to be sure to tell you that he loves you and to repeat what he told you to when you get up to that mound." Steven's dark brown eye's steadied as he wiped his tears away with his baseball shirt's sleeve.
Steven's tears wiped away, he immediately looked up and stated, "When I feel down, I know God will lift me up." His mother's eyes began to water as she patted him on the back and directed his eyes towards the pitcher's mound. As he walked to the mound, his mother continued to hear him repeat what his grandpa instructed him to repeat.
With two strikes and three balls thrown awry in the bottom of the ninth inning, the crowd watched as Steven paused, knelt to one knee, muttered something and stood upright and proudly. He gazed into the eyes of the batter and shouted loud enough for the entire crowd to hear, "When I feel down, I know God will lift me up." Oddly, he held the ball like the stones his grandfather had watched him throw that sunny day only one year ago.
Steven poised himself with his gaze remaining in the batter's eyes. Before the pitch was released, he remembered his grandpa's other words of wisdom--"If you think someone is better than you, always remember that you are the only one who is thinking the other guy is."
He released the ball with a furious and awkward sidearm pitch that the "more-than-a little-bit" intimidated batter never seemingly saw curve over the middle of the plate. "You're out!" the umpire shouted and to Steven's surprise, the crowd mostly comprised of the parents of both teams, stood up and gave Steven a roaring applause. His team and the opposing team both rushed the field and carried him off the field.Things had settled down after all of the pomp and circumstance and Steven noticed an old man walking his way. "That was a heck of a pitch you threw son," the old man stated with the same look of pride his grandpa often had shown on his face. "Sir, thanks a lot." Steven appeared confused and asked, "Sir, do I know you from somewhere?" The old man grinned, touched Steven gently on his shoulder before uttering, "No son, you don't but your grandfather did."
Steven excitingly exclaimed, "You know my grandpa?" The old man's eyes began to fill with tears as he told Steven, "Your grandfather struck me out just like you did that boy when we were about your age. He told me something I'll never forget just before I got signed on with National Baseball League." Steven's eyes lit up as he waited for what the old man would say next.
"Your grandfather told me that my greatest asset in the Big League wouldn't be my throwing or batting. He told me that if I ever thought someone was better than me, to always remember that I was the only one who thought the other guy was. What he never told me was what you shouted while standing out there on that mound. Your mother called me long distance late last night and asked that I come on down. I was feeling down on the trip to get here, but thanks to you son, God has lifted me up!"
Source: Brian G. Jett
Even the pretenders has an utility..
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."
Author Unknown.
What remains is gratitude than tragedy......
His family owned no washing machine and, since gasoline was rationed, they could ill afford trips to the laundry several miles away. Keeping clothes clean became a problem for young John's household.
A family friend was drafted into the service, and his wife prepared to go with him. John's family offered to store their furniture while they were away. To the family's surprise, the friends suggested they use their Bendix while they were gone. "It would be better for it to be running, " they said, "than sitting up rusting." So this is how they acquired the washer.
Young John helped with the washing, and across the years he developed an affection for the old, green Bendix. But eventually the war ended. Their friends returned. In the meantime he had forgotten how the machine came to be in their basement in the first place. When the friends came to take it away, John grew terribly upset -- and said so!
His mother, wise as she was, sat him down and said, "Wait a minute, Son. You must remember, that machine never belonged to us in the first place. That we ever got to use it at all was a gift. So, instead of being mad at it being taken away, let's use this occasion to be grateful that we had it at all."
The lesson proved invaluable. Years later, John watched his eight-year-old daughter die a slow and painful death of leukemia. Though he struggled for months with her death, John could not begin healing from the loss until he remembered the old Bendix.
"I am here to testify," he said, "that this is the only way down the mountain of loss...when I remember that Laura Lou was a gift, pure and simple, something I neither earned nor deserved nor had a right to. And when I remember that the appropriate response to a gift, even when it is taken away, is gratitude, then I am better able to try and thank God that I was ever given her in the first place."
His daughter was a gift. When he realized that simple fact, everything changed. He could now begin healing from the tragedy of her loss by focusing instead on the wonder of her life. He started to see Laura Lou as a marvelous gift that he was fortunate enough to share for a time. He felt grateful. He found strength and healing. He knew he could get through the valley of loss.
We all experience loss -- loss of people, loss of jobs, loss of relationships, loss of independence, loss of esteem, loss of things. When what you held dear can be viewed as a gift, a wonder that you had it at all, the memory can eventually become one more of gratitude than tragedy. And you will find the healing you need.
* Story from TRACKS OF A FELLOW STRUGGLER,
by John Claypool
Make those tough choices for the life you desire......
But coming from a working-class family with eight children, money was always tight, so the boys often had to go without. In fact, things were so tight, the two growing boys were often hungry. So they did what many boys do when they're hungry and have no food - they stole. From the time they were five until they were well out of high school, the boys stole. They stole crackers from the cupboard in the middle of the night... they stole cookies from the grocery store... and they stole sandwiches from the sandwich shop.
If it wasn't nailed down and was worth something, Michael and Chris would find a way to steal it. They even stole money from their parents from time to time. But more often than not, they stole to satisfy their hunger.
When it was time for Michael and Chris to attend high school, they were bused across town to Kennedy High School. It was during high school that something happened that made Chris decide to change his behavior. At the end of his freshman year in high school, Chris had received three A's and three F's on his report card - the first time he had failed anything in school.
Because Kennedy High School only allowed three failures over four years, one more F and Chris would be kicked out of school. That's when he made up his mind to change. Years later Chris would recall that defining moment in his life with these words:
"I sat outside my house at the beginning of that summer knowing that I was letting my chance slip away. One more F and I'd be just another high school dropout, hanging around the neighborhood, hoping to get on with the county or to get into the service.
"At the time I didn't know my brother Rusty would end up in prison... or that my brother Harold would die without having seen much of the world. I certainly didn't know what would happen to Michael. I only knew that I had to get out of there. I wanted to see San Francisco every day, to pick out my own clothes, drive my own car, and be whatever a man could hope to be, not just a black man, not just a man from the flats of Richmond. I wanted no limitations. I wanted to be whatever a man could hope to be."
Chris' decision to change his behavior wasn't an easy one. He took a lot of grief from his friends for choosing to excel in school, instead of squeaking by with C's and D's. But that decision to change took him in an entirely different direction from his brother Michael, who resisted changing his unproductive behavior.
Chris went on to graduate from high school... graduate from college... and graduate from law school. For 15 years he worked as a Deputy District Attorney in Los Angeles, California, prosecuting murderers, drug dealers, gang members and crooked cops. Today Chris is better known as Christopher. You probably recognize him by his full name - Christopher Darden, one of the lead prosecutors in the trial of the century, the O. J. Simpson trial!
What became of Christopher's brother, Michael? After high school Michael joined the army and returned to his hometown shortly after his tour of duty. Back in Richmond, Michael continued his pattern of anti-social behavior - hustling in the streets... and stealing to support himself and a growing drug habit. On November 29, 1995, Michael Darden died at the age of 42... from AIDS.
This story of triumph and tragedy serves to remind us that when it's all said and done, who we are and what we become is determined by the choices we make.
We can choose to get better... or we can choose to get bitter. Whether we make those choices to improve at age 14, like Christopher Darden... or at age 64, like Colonel Sanders, those choices have the power to dramatically increase our value in virtually everything we do.
That's what the saying "change... or be changed" is all about. Christopher Darden changed. He changed from being a criminal... to prosecuting criminals. He changed his attitude from being angry and sullen... to being open and accepting. He changed from an underachiever... to an honor student who took responsibility for his grades and his education. He changed from a disillusioned teen-ager with low self-esteem... to an optimistic young man determined to turn his dreams into reality.
His brother Michael, on the other hand, was changed. He was changed by grinding poverty... he was changed by the code of the streets ... he was changed by illegal drugs... and finally, he was changed by an insidious disease.
Christopher Darden made the tough choices... he made the changes in his life that helped him accomplish his dreams.
His brother Michael, on the other hand, took the easy way out - or at least what he thought was the easy way out. He kept hanging around the same group of loser friends... he kept practicing the same self-destructive habits. As a result of the changes they did or did not make, both men chose their fates: Christopher chose to became a successful prosecutor. And Michael chose to become just another sad story of the streets.
You have a choice. You can choose to become Michael. Or you can choose to become Christopher. You can continue to do the things that will lead to frustration and unhappiness. Or you can make the changes that help you get what you want most out of life.
Don't choose to become like so many people who COULD HAVE become a millionaire... or who COULD HAVE become happier... or who COULD HAVE become healthier... or who COULD HAVE made a contribution - but didn't. Start making the changes you need to make TODAY... so that you can become the person you want to become TOMORROW!
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*Excerpts from the book, "You, Inc." by Burke Hedges and Steve Price.
Don't choose to become like so many people who COULD HAVE become a millionaire... or who COULD HAVE become happier... or who COULD HAVE become healthier... or who COULD HAVE made a contribution - but didn't. Start making the changes you need to make TODAY... so that you can become the person you want to become TOMORROW!
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*Excerpts from the book, "You, Inc." by Burke Hedges and Steve Price.
Compassionate connection through the wire....
Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.
My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.
I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.
A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. "Information."
"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.
"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.
"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts." "Can you open the icebox?" she asked.
I said I could.
"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.
After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.
Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"
She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."
Somehow I felt better.
Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please." "Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I asked.
All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.
Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."
Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. "Information."
I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"
There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."
I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"
I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."
I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.
"Please do", she said "Just ask for Sally." Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information." I asked for Sally.
"Are you a friend?" she said.
"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."
Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Paul?" "Yes." I answered.
"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you." The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean."
I thanked her and hung up. With tears in my eyes, I walked away knowing what Sally meant.
- Paul Villard.
I thought I was perfect.....
He returned to the subject a few days later. "You are still a child. You only know how to attend college. You have not mastered four things. Master them and then you will have attained something.
"Have a desire to meet and know God. But have no selfish desire to acquire things for yourself. Give up all anger, greed and attachment. Practice meditation regularly. Only when you have done these four things will you become perfect". Then he told me to visit certain sages. They were his friends who had known me from my young age because I had been with my master when he visited them. I had been quite mischievous. Whenever they came to visit my master they would ask, "Is he still with you?".First I went to see a swami who was renowned for his silence. He had withdrawn from worldly concerns. No matter what happened around him, he never looked up. He was lying on a hillock under a banyan tree, smiling, with his eyes closed. He never wore anything. When I first saw him lying that way, I thought, at least he should have a little decency". Then I thought, "My master told me to visit him and I know my master would not waste my time. I am only seeing his body". I touched his feet.
He was not sensitive to external stimuli; he was somewhere else. Three or four times I said, "Hello, sir; How are you?". But he did not respond. Then I started to massaging his feet. I thought he would be pleased but he kicked me. That kick was so powerful that I was thrown backward all the way down the hill and I ended up with many painful bruises. I was vindictive. "What reason has he to do this?. I came to him in reverence, started massaging his feet - and he kicked me! He's not a sage. I'll teach him; I'll break both his legs!". I decided that perhaps my master sent me to teach him a lesson.
When I returned to the hill to vent my anger, he was sitting up and smiling. He said, "How are you, my son?"
I said," How am I? After kicking me and knocking me down the hill, you're asking how I am?"
He said, "Your master told you to master four things but you have even destroyed one. I kicked you to test your control of anger. Now you are so angry that you cannot learn anything here. You are not tranquil. You are still very immature. You don't follow the spiritual teachings of your master, who is so selfless. What could you possibly learn from me? You are not prepared for my teachings. Go away".
Nobody had ever talked to me like that. When I thought about what he said, I realised that it was true; I was completely possessed by my anger.
He said, "People ordinarily recognize you only by your face - but the face of the sage is not here; it is with his lord. People find only feet here, so they bow to the feet. You should have that humility when touching someone's feet. You will have to go".
A few days ago I thought I was perfect, but surely I am not. Then I said," Sir, I will come back to you when I have conquered my ego." And I departed.
All the kicks and blows of life teach us something. No matter whence they come, they are blessings in disguise if we but learn their lesson. Buddha said," For a wise man, there is nothing to be called bad. Any adversity of life provides a step for his growth, provided he knows how to utilize it."
I visited another swami and determined that no matter what he did, I would not get angry. He had a beautiful farm. He said," I'll give you this farm. Would you like it?" I said, " Of course." He smiled. "Your master told you not to be attached, and yet you are very quick to tie yourself to a farm". I felt very small.
Later I was sent to another swami. He knew that I was coming. There was a small natural fountain on the way where we used to go and wash. He left some gold coins there. I stopped there and found three of them. For a second I entertained the thought of picking them up. I did so, and tucked them inside my loin cloth. Then I reconsidered: "But these coins aren't mine. Why do I need them? THis is not good". I put them back.
When I went to the swami, he was annoyed. I bowed before him and he said," Why did you pick up those coins? Do you still have lust for Gold" Get out. This is not the place for you."
I protested, "But I left them there".
He said," You left them later on. The problem is that you were attracted to them and picked them up in the first place".
From the experiences these sages gave me I began to realise the difference between book knowledge and experiential knowledge. I began to see many weaknesses, and I did not find it pleasant. Finally, I returned to may master. He asked," What have you learned?"
"I have learned that I have intellectual knowledge, but I do not behave in accord with that knowledge".
He said, " This is the problem all intellectuals have. They become overly proud of their knowledge. Now I will teach you how to practice, so that you will know."
A human being knows enough, but that knowledge needs to be brought into daily life. If this is not done, the knowledge remains limited within the boundaries of knowing only. We all know what to do and what not to do, but it is very difficult to learn how to be. Real Knowledge is found not in knowing but rather in being.
Living with the Himalayan Masters - Swami Rama.
Action in life.. Keep that original act going...
"The sort of life which I had previous to this popular success," he later wrote, "was one that required endurance, a life of clawing and scratching, but it was a good life because it was that sort of life for which the human organism is created. I was not aware of how much vital energy had gone into this struggle until the struggle was removed. I sat down and looked about me and was suddenly very depressed.With no fresh challenges in sight, with no more mountains to scale, Williams eventually had a nervous breakdown. This, in fact, proved good for him. He was in the valley once again. He could see new mountain slopes, which beckoned and challenged him to climb again. He started his journey again and produced his most famous work, A Streetcar Named Desire.
If the past successes are not quickly digested, the psyche begins to disfigure. It is imperative, therefore, to quickly digest the power one achieves. There are several ways of doing it. First every achievement should be viewed as a milestone, not as a mountain peak. If past glories begin to weigh heavier than your future dreams, take it as a warning that decay is setting in. Enjoy the adulation, respect and comfort that success brings, but don't become complacent. Remember, what made these pleasures possible and sustained the efforts that led you till this point, as the thrill of life lies in this journey; destinations are mere parking spaces to stretch your limbs and refuel. Action is life, lassitude is death. So when you reach one landmark, relax and relish the experience, but do not abandon the effort required to travel further. Set the bar higher.
Or look at people whose achievements are bigger than yours. Seeing your place in the larger scheme of things also helps change one's perspective as this story illustrates.
Socrates was sitting in his school with several of his students, when an extremely rich and famous man of Athens entered the hall to meet him. Socrates didn't notice his arrival and continued his discussions with his students. The man felt affronted but still decided to wait a while. But with every passing minute, his anger mounted. After about half an hour of waiting, he suddenly shouted at Socrates, "You don't know who I am?"
Socrates looked at his visitor and said, “Let us decide that too.” He called for a world map and asked this man to point out where was Athens in the map. After careful scrutiny, the man pointed to a little speck. Socrates then asked him to point out on the map where his estate was, where his palace was and so on. Realising those possessions that he was so proud of were specks within specks in the larger scheme of things, the man was at a loss and came to term with his own insignificance. The lesson was completed. Socrates folded the map and handed it over to him as a reminder of his humble status in the world.Another tip for digesting power is to develop your feminine polarity. Man is aggressive by nature; woman is compassionate. It is said, God completed the creation of world in six days, yet every subsequent day, he kept refining his creations until he created man. Even then he was not satisfied. So he took a bone from man’s rib and created a woman – a more refined version of man. In fact, a man becomes complete and capable of great achievements only when he recognizes his own feminine polarity – his warm, giving and kind self.
For instance, Amitabh Bachchan, the Indian film superstar, gets up early in the morning at 6 and runs a packed schedule till late in the night. Even after such a hectic daily schedule, before going to bed, he tends to his old bed-ridden mother, sits by her side and tells her all that transpired during the day.
Once in a blue moon, his weary, bed-ridden mother speaks a sentence or two to him. In these couple of sentences, Bachchan finds his reward. How many of us spend time with our aging parents? How many of us feel kindly towards them? I feel it is this rare and highly developed feminine polarity of compassion which has helped Bachchan digest his riches and fame. This excellent digestion creates space for more riches and fame.Understanding the principles of Tao, the hidden order that governs the universe, is the key to handling power. The principle of cosmic justice is based on the maxim that a person reaps what he sows. The doctrine of Karma and belief in divine retribution are different expressions of a common principle that the world is governed by the principle of justice. Justice (Balance) is inherent in the fabric of cosmos.
Thus, when giddy with power we lose touch with our inner rhythm, or the Tao, and behave recklessly or cruelly, retribution does come. It perhaps does not come from some God sitting in heavens, but from within us when, due to our physical and mental imbalance, we are no longer available to our possibilities.
The recognition of the role of luck in our achievements also helps keep humility alive in us. It is indeed not just one’s prowess, but also providence that leads him to a position of power. This realization subdues the ego.
Lastly, we need to learn to love our people and be kind to them. Love is an enzyme that digests power, and compassion is the best antidote against power’s corrupting influence.
Source: When you are sinking, Become a submarine by Pavan Choudary.
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